Be a CEO in College

Remember that awesome winner from NBC's The Apprentice, Randal Pinkett? Well, he has written a new book named "Campus CEO: The Student Entrepreneur's Guide to Launching a Multimillion-Dollar Business" (Kaplan Publishing, $16.95). Pinkett ran businesses from his dorm at Rutgers University and eventually went on to own a multi-million dollar management, technology, and policy consult firm.
Michelle Singletary, a personal finance columnist for the Washington Post, has named Pinkett's book as her new selection for her book club. Sounds good to me. Entrepreneurship is an excellent thing. Anything that keeps you out of some other person's workplace is a great idea. I wish I had been encouraged earlier to explore running my own business. Pinkett is a smart guy who has actually successfully started his own businesses, college kids and no-college kids alike, check it out.

I am an Internet Addict

Salary.com has an article on productivity problems in the workplace. I've mentioned that I admittedly am a bit of a "time-waster." I don't really feel bad about it for the most part, certainly not in terms of being "unproductive." Rather, I'm more concerned about "Big Brother" down in the basement at work monitoring every keystroke I make and reading all of my e-mails and whatnot. But, most of that time, I can push aside my paranoia and happily Internet surf for as long as my little heart desires. It's hard, once you get started. I mean there is always another Google search to do. Always another article to read. Always an e-mail to send or read. Always, always, always!
According to the article, workers waste about 20% of every working day. And, what are they doing when wasting time? The following are the top time wasters in order: personal Internet use, chatting with colleagues, conducting personal business, making personal phone calls, and taking long lunches or breaks/doing personal errands on work time. Ironically, the top reason employees are wasting time is because they don't have enough work to do.
Hey, if you have a job that is challenging, enjoyable, and where you are respected, by all means, be the best you can be. But, if you just have a meaningless job and work with snakes, sharks, and barracudas, do as you please. I am a very efficient worker. When I am motivated, I achieve top quality and quantity levels. But, the key word is "when."

Job Regrets for the Newbie

Surprise! Staying on a loathsome job can cause your performance and attitude to tank. Not exactly a newsflash. While I don't actually hate my job, I cannot say that I like it. What I do know is that after dealing with the many "issues" in my workplace I am not nearly as self-motivated or pleasant with certain individuals. I know that my reputation has been dragged through the mire. But, I still ain't goin' nowhere. Believe it or not, the pros still outweigh the cons. Those suckas aren't going to run me out of there. I'll leave when the time comes and when I cease to be amused.
But, you don't have to be like me and linger in a meaningless, lousy gig. If you are having job regrets for more than six months, you probably should not stay. Employment consultant John Challenger, of Challenger, Gray & Christmas, recommends that when you are conducting your job search, you list "must have" and "like to have" characteristics of your desired position. Once you get an offer, you should evaluate how many of your wanted characteristics are present. it is not recommended that you compromise on you "must haves." It is also recommended that you not rush to accept an offer. You should also consult your family and friends on how they feel the position will suit you, as they know you better than the person who interviewed you.
Just give your job search serious thought. And try to retire as early as possible. Working is for the birds!

Step one: Walk. Step two: Walk. Step three: Walk...!

Aaarrgh! Why must people provoke me in the mornings on that blasted DC metro? Don't you just hate it when people hold you up from catching a train that you'd be able to make if everyone on the left side of the escalator would actually WALK? And, when the train doors open, wouldn't it be great if you could WALK on and go sit down or just move the heck out of the way? Sheesh!
So, this morning as I was attempting to head downstairs to transfer to the Blue/Orange trains, everyone was leisurely meandering down on the escalator, while a Blue line train was actually waiting. I could have got that darn train! Now, I'm in no particular rush to get to work, although the earlier I sign in, the earlier I will leave, but when we can actually make the train by doing the right thing, which is walking, it irritates me. Walk with purpose, fools!
And, then what I'll never comprehend, which happens on a daily basis is why people linger in front of the open train doors when they first open. Get on, you moron! Shoot, you don't have to wait till they're sounding that "Doors Closing" alarm. Get the heck on, and let the rest of us enter, as well. What are you trying to pick the perfect seat before actually entering the train or something? Are you not sure you want to get on? Well, I do, so you need to move!
Metro rage is a frustrating thing.

You Work with these People, Trust Me!

Do you know any gossips, kiss-ups, excessive talkers, or people who just share too much information about their lives? Of course, you do--you work with them! Heck, you might be one of them. Goodness, I see each of those individuals on a daily basis. I have endured excessive talking marathons twice this week. The gossiping NEVER ends. Careerbuilder talks about how to deal with difficult co-workers. Naturally, I will be self-righteous and say that I am NOT an annoying co-worker. Bewildering, audacious, sharp-tongued, strong-willed, too honest? Sure. But, annoying. Nah! But, for those of you who are annoying, please remedy your ways. Although, honestly, the workplace would not be the stew of drama and entertainment that it is without these people. God bless them.

Can't Focus? You're Wasting Money!

Did you know that workplace distractions cost American businesses $650 million dollars? Well apparently it does, according to Business Week, and I may be contributing to this amount. I consider myself a very efficient worker, but sometimes, that blasted computer screen and that pesky Internet access ruin everything. I have music, the Internet (can't get enough of it--it's an addiction), my cellphone, work phone, and, of course, people to distract me. It is a problem that likely will not go away. And, with Generations X and Y taking over the workplace, employers will need to get ready for a bunch of multi-tasking, gadget obsessed, IM-ing fools. Distractions are here to stay!

Long Hours are for Suckas (And Weirdos)!

Wow. According to Careerbuilder, "workaholism" is not just one of those fictional, pseudo-conditions--it is really a problem. Working long hours can become a compulsion and may lead people to neglect other important areas of their lives, e.g. their family and health. ironically, workaholics aren't even productive. Their just sitting around wasting time but somehow don't know how to make their behinds go home.
Wussy Boss is definitely a workaholic (Dummy Boss is to lazy to even try to stay long hours all the time). He stays all night (productivity=snooping on worker's desks). He doesn't talk to his staff, so I'm gathering by him staying at the office all day, that he probably doesn't engage his wife and children much either. One of the symptoms of workaholism is "avoiding intimacy and being controlling"...that is Wussy Boss. He controls his staff from his desk chair via e-mail since he can't handle actually speaking to anyone. What a joker!

My fantastic Friday!

I did not go to work today. I decided to take the day off and enjoy myself. Sometimes you have to do it. It was a day well spent, and the weather was pretty nice, too.

Another day down

I made it through the day. It was not the worst day in the world. It has been quite hot and humid here in Washington, DC. I went out for lunch, and was eager to get back to the air conditioning and frigidity of the office (it ain't just the A/C that's cold!). Other than that, it was a fairly dull day. I find that I am more productive in the afternoons and evenings. No one really interfered with me today. I know that for the most part they are afraid of me. It may be a career-ender, but sometimes it pays to stand up and complain about your mistreatment.

Evening Phantom

So, Wussy Boss removed items from my area again last night. He stays at work until everyone leaves, which can be as late as 8 pm, and he goes through people's work spaces. He is proving that he is neurotic.

Fatal Errors at Work

Here is a list from Careerbuilder about the ten fatal mistakes people make on the job. I am sure I am committing several, but who is perfect, anyway?

Cowardly

I am so amused at how these BIG, POWERFUL supervisors have to hide behind their e-mails from the safety of their desks in order to get you to do something. Or, they wait until everyone is gone for the evening to stay behind and search and rummage through your desk. Punks! Goodness, get a life and please justify your GS-level.

So far, so good...

The day is almost over, and I have not had a clash yet. Sure both Dummy and Wussy Boss still hate me, but the key is: no one has dared to speak to me yet. We rejoice in the small things.

A Fresh Start

Let's just say that last week was not the best week of work for me. Granted, I've had worse, but last week was rife with tension and trouble a-brewing. I had several "minor" clashes with Dummy Boss that left her frustrated and "helpless" (she's trying to figure out how to spin those little events into the next case against me). There is a lot of rage just underneath the surface, and it is almost like a powder keg or minefield in here. One false move one day and a "situation" is going to re-occur. The problem for her, is that she is so predictable and dumb, that I know what she is going to do and what is going to bother her (what bothers her is that I don't bow down to her and treat her as a god). But, I am technically not doing anything wrong or even trying to deal with her at all (which is another problem for her). The easiest thing for her to do is to just leave me alone. I don't require close supervision, I'm a very capable and independent worker, and I'm pretty quiet. Our relationship would probably improve if she would just stay the heck away from me with all of her phony, back-stabbing nonsense and learn to gain self-esteem from something other than the fear and acknowledgment of her staff.
I just don't want any trouble this week, but I know that each passing hour brings more and more hostility and contempt. How did someone like me get to be #1 on the radar in this office? Of well, I can handle it. Someone has to be the bad guy.

TGIF

That's all I have to say now. That says it all.

Yo Mama says "Part-time or Bust!"

According to the Washington Post, most working mothers prefer working part-time to either full-time work or no work. Apparently Gen-X mothers are more family-centric than their workaholic baby boomer mothers were with them. And, now they want to shower little Madison and Aiden with as much attention as they had been deprived of as children. How sweet.
I agree with this logic. I think women should work (i.e., earn an income), but I don't blame them for not wanting to be slaving away for 40 hours. That goes for men, too. Me...I just want to somehow earn money without working.

A brief reprieve

Dummy Boss is not in yet, so I get a break from seeing her stupid self this morning. I have been making the best of it and was actually more productive than I usually am in the mornings--the irony! Wussy Boss is in, but nobody cares about him AT ALL.
It's so lovely outside here in the nation's capital this morning. They are not forecasting any rain for today, so it should be a nice day to enjoy lunch outdoors with a workplace chum or ally.

Incompetence vs. Merit

I am really irritated now. The "fools that be" have come up with a new policy for our office that actually makes our tasks much more inefficient. How stupid can you get?! I can't stand these people. I work for two buffoons, a male and a female, both of whom have been here in excess of 30 years and can definitely retire based on age and years of service.
I can't stand these two people! They are idiotic, childish imbeciles who are threatened by everything and everyone. They are the laziest people ever. For him, he made his climb to the near top by being the most educated individual in the office decades ago. And, she simply made her way to the not-so-near top by being a brown-nosing liar and cheat.
Once upon a time, when I first joined this sinking ship, I got along with these morons, but we had a very big falling out when the brown-noser got out of line, and all hell ensued. I stood up for myself, and they have been resentful ever since.
But, don't ever tell me there is such thing as merit in the working world. It's who you know, who you talk to enough, who you don't offend, who likes you, who "looks like" you, etc. You can have all the brains, talent, and even charisma in the world, but if the fools that be don't like you, you can kiss your promotions and good times goodbye. Heck, I know I want be rewarded the way I should be, but I refuse to sell my soul and submit to those dummies.
Can you count the number of names I called them?

Indestructible Careers from Careerbuilder.com

Careerbuilder.com has a list of 12 careers that will always be needed and are, thus, "indestructible." None of them are particularly appealing to me, but, then again, I don't want to work at all. But, alas, I was not born a wealthy socialite.

Metro Does Not Open Doors!

Ahhhh...I just chuckle thinking about it! Yesterday evening, on my way home from my illustrious job, as I gleefully sat on a train at L'Enfant Plaza I was able to make, the usual "Doors Closing" voice and the chimes sounded. However, out of nowhere a forty-something year old, white collar dude, with briefcase in tow, came running from nowhere (probably trying to get the heck away from his job) and became stuck in the non-retractable doors. I mean his face and leg were caught in the door! He tried to pry open the doors in a futile attempt to join the rest of us on the train, amidst the mocking "Doors Closing" voice and the chimes. Thankfully, he managed to pry himself loose before the train would carry him off to his certain death. He did not make it on the train and was left on the platform, probably allowing his snake of a fat supervisor (still chugging up the escalator) to catch up with him, which is why he probably was trying so desperately to get on the train.
Now, this is definitely NOT the first time I have seen people or baby strollers caught in the doors. But, this time I was seated right next to the door and could only stare at him helplessly and then look away evasively. That's what everyone did, and that's why I started to laugh uncontrollably (after the doors finally closed--not while he was stuck!). It was just the fact that the passengers could only stare or ignore. I mean, what kind of eye contact or facial expression do you give to someone who is being crushed by the Metro doors? Are there any words of sympathy or even small talk that you can offer? It's these awkward moments in life that I find most hilarious (as long as I'm not the subject of the laughter!).
But, I NEVER run for the train. I refuse. I get to work when I get there (all within the flex-time band most of the time), and I get home when I get there (by the grace of God). I am too good to run for any train EVER. Think of the freak accidents that could occur. I mean someone's wad of mucus on the platform could send you careening onto the tracks in front of that speeding train. Nope, not for me.
There is so much I can say about the Metro. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I think it is mostly good, though. But, sometimes my seething Metro rage rises...

Post Discussion on Applying for Government Jobs

Derrick Dortch, a career counselor and president of The Diversa Group, will be leading a discussion on applying for government and security jobs today at 11 am on the Washington Post. He always seems to give good advice, so if for some reason, you want to work for Uncle Sam, check it out.
Of course, from my own experience, the whole process of obtaining a federal job is totally convoluted and inefficient. How can you keep someone on hold for months and expect them to still be interested in the job? Fortunately (for them), I was blissfuly enjoying my life as a boomerang child, living it up at home with Mommy and Daddy in a city much better than DC and really did not care if and when I was going to be gainfully employed. I had applied for several jobs at this agency only, and all of my interviews came at the same time, and then, as fate would have it, I was hired. For reasons only God knows about, I was led to accept the position and have been living through the trials and tribulations ever since!
But, YOU, go on and apply for your federal job!
Oh, because I love him so for his optimism and good nature, also check out the Federal Diary Live today at noon.

The Post's Take on Surviving the Workplace

Yowza. There was actually a discussion on the Washington Post today about Surviving Your Workplace. Gosh, if you seek, you shall find. This blog is going to lead to so many tools to fuel my fire and anguish...how exciting!
For the many unappreciated workers of the world, I want to express my sympathy. It's a hard knock life for us. But, keep forging ahead. Just don't allow yourself to feel trapped and helpless, alright? We have the power, if you just tap into it, to take over every institution in the freakin' universe and bring the powers that be to their knees!

In case I haven't inspired you to become a civil servant...

Uncle Sam needs you for a meaningless job! Okay, to be fair not ALL government jobs are meaningless (mine definitely is, though). But, Stephen Barr, who writes the column Federal Diary for the Washington Post wrote about how the federal government is going to need to replace all of the lazy, old people who are reluctant to give up their jobs, despite their 60 years of service and the fact that they are 87 years old and have been doing the same drab job for decades (this is my paraphrasing not Stephen's).
Apparently, certain agencies, namely the Department of Homeland Security, IRS, Department of Defense, Department of Veteran Affairs, Patent & Trademark Office, NASA, and a slew of others will be hiring like gangbusters. That's great. My agency was not listed. But, I know that from day one I have seen too many walking corpses who should have been retired 20 years ago. If you can't afford to retire, that's one thing, but otherwise, relinquish your little GS-13 position and finally get a life!
Stephen Barr seems like a nice idealist. His picture screams "I am nice."

So, I hate that I have to work...(YOU get over it!)

Wow. It has come to this! Well, first off, if you are actually reading this, I want to welcome you to my blog. After a lot of rage, anger, and frustration, I have decided that I need to "express" my self about my contempt for my job, certain co-workers, and, of course, the people in charge (or, who think they are). My job is cramping my style! I often am bewildered how I managed to find myself as a "working professional." What happened to the innocence of childhood, the pleasure of adolescence, the quasi-freedom of the college years? How ironic is it that when you are an actual "adult," that you actually become less free than you were when you were younger and in school?
I will not disclose exactly where I work, but I work for a federal agency in Washington, DC, doing what I regard as mostly insignificant, unfulfilling work. I'm a twenty-something gen-yer (stay with me, those who are losing sympathy) who has been on the job for 2+ years. I work with several incompetent, spiteful, childish individuals. But, with that said, I get along with most of my co-workers, and they enjoy my presence.
I am hoping that this blog will almost be therapeutic for me. I need to vent! I don't care if whoever is reading thinks I am a spoiled whiner or if they think that I am the problem at work. I don't care. Anyway, I do hope there are fellow commiserators, who can sympathize and understand that the workplace can be unpleasant. I won't claim to have the worst situation in the world, but it still ain't great. And, for crying out loud, I refuse to be grateful to have a job! I didn't create this world in which people have to support themselves and where everything is monetarized! Thank God I'm meeting my needs, but life in the Garden of Eden was supposed to be awesome and free. Curse that Eve.
Anyway, feel free to read with me as I unload and tell a silent-cyberspace therapist my various work-related issues.